the goods: daydreaming of death

somehow at work, we started talking about "what if you were dying and were granted one dream from make-a-wish foundation?"  sounds easy, right?  after tormenting myself for days trying to come up with something-- ANYTHING-- that i would like to do for my dying wish, i think i finally decided.

at first, i thought: travel. but what if fiji's coral coast doesn't really look like this? and what if the rumored magical blue lagoon is just a big puddle with little fishies?

and then i thought: spend the day with a role model. and while dancing on stage with brit brit could be an unforgettable, one of a kind experience, i don't think writhing around and sweating would be totally satisfying.

and then i thought: disneyworld.  yah, disneyworld.  good choice.  i've never been to florida.  i mean, think of the castles:

and the princesses:

and the lights:

and a great opportunity to practice my asian tourist pose:

and eat a mickey mouse breakfast:

and remember what it's like to have a good time:

unforunately, i am dying at the average/normal rate and will probably never get to visit disneyworld to stalk harry potter or eat ice cream sandwiches in the shape of mickey's ears.  but still.  it's fun to dream.

like a prism

about a week ago, a customer paid for her prescription with a credit card that had an image of her daughter and her standing in front of a large mountain.  she told me that her capital one card let her choose her own background picture-- and i added "had to choose from a golf ball, forest, or flower" to the long list of reasons why i despise US bank.

and then, i dreamed at length of which image i would choose for my not-going-to-happen bank card that-- according to capital one's website-- would be "unique" like me.  "unique" is such a quaint way to describe me.  i prefer "special," if you must know.

maybe i would pick a classic, cute background design to show my artsy side.

or maybe something to show my angsty/emo side:

or maybe something to show my resclusive but still loves comic strips side:

or something to remind me of my favorite place on earth (besides my bed), patrick's point:

or maybe something to show my soft spot for pandas, especially little fuzzy baby waby pandas:

wow, i can't forget britney from my all-time favorite photo shoot:

what about you, reader? what image would you choose?

new: nourishing those warm fuzzies

what are you thankful for?

1. I am thankful for engineers and inventors of life's little tools like my apple slicer and flat iron.

2. I am thankful for my childhood stuffed animal Lamby the lamb for getting me through many bouts of strep throat, upset stomachs, tea parties, nightmares, and cryfests.

3. I am thankful for a working car and not having a car payment.

4. I am thankful for green tea with roasted brown rice and popcorn. tea warms my body and soul.

5. I am thankful for vogue magazine for its consistent ability to inspire me to draw, write, workout, and dream.

6. I am thankful for my college education that was paid for by scholarships, my parents, and my teaching assistantship.

7. I am thankful for the public library's free movie and television show rental program. yes, I have watches all five seasons of "weeds" without paying a single rental fee.

8. I am thankful for caffeine.

9. I am thankful for compliments-- even if I don't believe you.

10. I am thankful for the world's diverse population. we function as a whole because of our different talents, abilities, and preferences.

11. I am thankful for the little things that randomly become big things to remind me how lovely suprises are.

but that doesn't mean I don't wish.









in honor of 11/11 11:11 pm, I made a very big wish.









not telling :)

not new: but still worth posting

I went to winco tonight to buy some food for my party tomorrow, and--like all visits to the grocery store of horrors-- I experienced two things that made me question humanity:

1) I turned right into an aisle and a boy about 11-12 years old was standing in the middle of the row. he was about my height and slender, wearing a baseball hat. his dad looked at me looking at his son/obstacle and said, "move outta the way and let the little girl through." did I almost run over another child? I looked behind me, saw no one, and realized he was talking about me. so because I'm relatively the size of a teenage boy, my adult status needs to be diminuitized why? I'm a grown up, and I feel kind of insulted that people don't take me seriously.

2) while paying for my groceries, the checker looked at me and said, "how old are you?" which I grow increasingly tired of being asked. it's not like when I was 3 and can hold up my chubby fingers to reveal my age and boast about being SO OLD. i'm mid-20's now, people. so I asked why, and she said, "you look 14! and you're using a debit card!" LYKE OMG ROFL IDK LOLZ!!!! so I said, "oh. I'm 15. good guess." and she said, "really? do you drive?" 4 REALZ GURL? "I'm 25 actually." and she just stared at me, handed me my receipt, and said, "wow, good job, honey!" idiot.

why is our society obsessed with youth? should I be thankful that apparently I don't look like whatever 25 is supposed to look like-- that I can shave off half a decade of my age and no one would question me? should I be frustrated that society passes me off as a coming-of-age youngster needing guidance and assistance and curfew checks?

so I guess this means my Britney Spears obsession can stick around for a few more years. no need to rush that.

summer day 23

this is the smut I flood my brain with after the day's monotony leeches all semblence of an intelligent being from me.

may hit me one more time.

subtitle: in defense of brit brit.

i am not ashamed to admit that i like britney spears. in fact, i will even stand up for her. i've never met the girl, but i don't think she deserves as much crap as she's given. sure, her music is a little processed (but she listens to radiohead). and yes, she almost dropped her kid on the ground (but who hasn't?). oh, and there was the whole marrying a giant LOSER deal (but we all have skeletons in our closet).

britney stole my heart back in 1999 when she released "...baby one more time." she danced around in a little schoolgirl outfit and moped on the bleachers. i think i first really fell for her after watching a video of brit at dance practice for "hit me"s video. she was wearing a white sports bra and her hair flipped thisway and thatway-- i mean, most high school students (she was only 18 when her first album was released) couldn't manage a homework assignment, much less multiple dance routines, lyrics, and a skin-tight-tight-wardrobe-approved body. even if her music was less than stellar according to music enthusiasts (read: snobs), ...baby one more time has sold over 14 million records in the US alone. maybe the schoolgirl outfit was just too genuis.

her second album, oops!...i did it again was also very successful-- and i was pleased to hear that britney had grown up a little. she emerged in a full-body red latex suit in her video "oops! i did it again" and mocked titanic and all the sudden, brit brit was hawt.
she was everywhere. the tabloids. magazine covers. with justin timberlake. amidst rumors she wasn't a virgin. OMG she pierced her belly button. umm the vegas wedding to childhood sweetheart. and a whole bunch of other stuff. and then.
kevin federline. back up dancer. 2004. engaged after 3 months. his ex was 8 months preggo. but whatevs. it was love. married 10/6/2004.

and then they had 2 kids. and she got, like, so fat. and then they divorced in november 2006. and then, you know. she went "crazy"-- attacking paparazzi with an umbrella and shaving her head and having breakdowns and whatnot. yah, this happened:

but, come on. she married the supposed love of her life without a pre-nup, and they broke up (reportedly) over text messaging. the media constantly photographed her looking terrible (read: chunky and worn out). she started partying with paris and flashing the media (accidentally of course). there were rumors of a sex tape. she was denounced "bipolar." and her comeback failed. even though, seriously, she looks a hell of a lot better than most girls out there who manage to have boyfriends and stuff.


but, come on. failed relationships suck. failed career moves suck. failed parenting sucks.

imagine the world laughing at you. imagine the world reading about your mistakes through the sarcastic, bitter tone of people like perez hilton. imagine your parents admitting that you're a disappointment. imagine being constantly compared to who you used to be, years and years ago. have you ever had a bad haircut? have you ever driven without a seatbelt? have you ever made some bad drinking choices?

have you released 6 albums and 4 eps? have you starred on a hit TV show playing a hot secretary? have you posed for rolling stone's COVER 7 times? have you created and sold a perfume line? have you walked across your own star on the hollywood walk of fame? have you ever looked like this good in leather pants and wig:
have you been the most searched person for the year on google and set guinness world records? have you made out with madonna? have you ever performed for a superbowl half-time show? have you toured the world 5 times sharing your life's work with millions of people that relate to you, that understand what you've been through, that can only imagine how much you've sacrificed to have what you have, that really could never grasp how absolutely awesome it is to be you?
naw, that's britney, bitch.

Well, it's been an interesting month so far! To think that 22 days ago I was celebrating Kim's birthday at P.F. Changs boggles my mind.

Several dozens of pages later (including not one. . . not two. . . not three. . . but four essays for my grad classes, including an essay on one of my essays!) and several dozens of hours later (from reading 102 portfolios), I finished off my Spring 2008 semester at Amy's combined birthday-bachelorette party. We ate at P.F. Changs (I'm becoming a regular), and then went dancing and drinking at Hannah's. Yes, you read that right! I was getting my groove on.

But I can't escape school that easily. . . the next morning bright and early at 8:30, I had school. It was the first meeting before my summer school class starts in June. School has consumed so many hours of my life (waking and non-waking). I truly thank the people I work with for putting up with my office complaints, attempts at humor, and my Clorox wipe obsession. You can also view my old school computer in my office. What you can't see, though, is an autographed picture of Britney Spears hanging in my cubicle. It's glossy and totally photocopied =)

On Saturday, I watched my best friend Kim graduate (along with others like a roomie, Brett, and various peeps from Eagle) from BSU. I'm so proud of them all!

As if all this wasn't enough, Yann and his girlfriend Alexis came to Boise for the weekend. It was great to see Yann again, and his taste in girls has significantly improved since high school.
This weekend is Amy's wedding, and then I'll be moving temporary to Eagle to housesit for the month of June. I'm super excited about it. I hope you're enjoying your summer vacations too!