i think t.s. eliot was on to something when he called april the cruellest month. i just want it to be may. . . or more specifically, june. is it too much to ask for a time warp? sheesh.
so, my life has been rather weird lately. not necessarily weird in a bad way-- just weird. i think this may have something to do with four weeks (ok, five including spring break but sort of excluding spring break) straight of presentations for my 3 grad classes. on top of that, i read and "evaluated" 47 unit projects, read an entire hawthorne romance, and a bunch of other miscellaneous items. as well, my hair is grossly long and i'm in desperate need of a haircut.
i've started going to the gym (today breaks my five day gym streak), and i realized what a wimp i am. my back has been hurting from muscle strain, but today when i was getting into the shower, i noticed a really yucky yellowish purple bruise on my shoulder blades, which is from a machine that works my lower back. as well, i have a weird bruise on my right forearm from hitting the doorknob in my room. i installed a coat rack on the wall behind my door (it's the only place where i can hang my coats), but then it fell, and then i hung it back up again. my door doesn't open all the way now, and i've become a creature of habit and still walk through the doorway as if the door was open all the way. . . hence the weird bruise on my forearm. go figure.
yesterday, i babysat for my favorite family in eagle, the brandecker's. i've been babysitting for their 3 great kids for about six years now, and i've had the joy of watching the children grow up into teenagers. (yes, the oldest is now a teenager!) so yesterday, the girls informed me of a father-daughter dance at their church, and the middle child who is the oldest girl decided to model her new dress that she got for the dance. she ran upstairs in great excitement to put it on and show me. she ran back downstairs, yelling, "andrea, will you tie this for me?" when she got downstairs, my eyes welled with tears at the sight of this beautiful girl in a pretty, flowy white halter sundress with blue dots and a sash around the waist. her white sandals with little rhinestones along the strap over her foot completed this very cute-- and
very grown up-- look. i tied her sash. she asked me if i liked her dress, and i told her it was absolutely beautiful. and then i felt very sad inside. when did she grow up? when will it stop? (for the record, her younger sister playfully crinkled her face and said, "yuck. you look like gross." =)
tonight i went to the final moveable feast of the academic year. it was great-- great food, great book, great people. maybe i fit in with these literary folk. just maybe. this entire m.a. program has me seriously doubting whether i'm competitive enough, intellectual enough, motivated enough, and just
enough of enough to get through it.
this has quickly become an emo post. i will stop now. before i end it, i bid you adieu and hope you're having a wonderful weekend.
(he makes my heart sing sweet melodies like a caged canary sitting in front a pink rhinestone mirror.)
