miracle

on Saturday, I went grocery shopping. I know, the horror. I had a brief conversation with both the checkers at winco and Albertsons-- and decided I had enough human interaction for the day and went straight home. I then spent over an hour in the bathtub, totally submersed except for my nose and mouth, and listened to nothing but my breathing and heartbeat and realized how easy it would be to end both.

never fear, readers. as long as britney keeps dancing and gummy worms are available, I'll be around. my half-birthday was yesterday, so I'm quite aware of my impending age-related death.

so I propose a challenge to overcome these overwhelming (at times) feelings to free fall into the black abyss. the month of march will consist of a post each day dedicated to something I love, appreciate, and all that mushy stuff. my goal is to derive an on-going positive attitude and maybe even pass it on to you.

rose-colored glasses, here I come.

in case you missed the facebook updates

lately,

i've been putting my sewing  machine to work.

i had to make a tough choice and resist temptation.

 

i was reminded of how awesome my friends are, 

and they love me even though i'm border-line midget.

i found myself being a passenger more than i would have liked.

i can't help but feel like i'm waiting for something that is never going to happen.

 i think they are just taking the easy way out-- and i don't know how to stop judging.

i can't fool myself anymore-- my education now feels like a giant waste of time.

 i think taylor swift would be an awesome friend.

and i watch/listen to her videos on my new app before bedtime.

watching my friends grow up and get married and procreate and move on with their lives is both exciting and unsettling. i wish they would accept that these choices work for them-- and not me. although, i just have to say, that if i DID decide to breed, my little "it" would be so frickin cute-- and cool.

i'm helping a friend out by taking care of her kitties. they follow me everywhere, 
which is sort of sweet.

the valentines' day frenzy confuses my brain because i'm like "OMG pink! everywhere pink! 
shiny things! so pretty!" but i'm also like "crap."

i just can't catch a break.

even though i've used up my hug allotment for the year, 

i would really enjoy just one more.

AFHV, you got me.

do you ever feel like your life is one consecutive punchline after another?  seriously, if this is candid camera, you can stop taping now. over. waving white flag. done.

some recent tidbits of conversation, for your amusement always.

the "andrea actually IS a banana-- yellow on the outside, white on the inside" confirmation:
customer: are you japanese?
me: no....
customer: what is your background?
me: [struggles] korean.
customer: my daughter-in-law is japanese. but she's full-blown japanese. raised there and everything.
me:oh, that is very cool! [smiles through pain]
customer: you were raised here. i can tell. [winks]
me: [resists temptation to gag]
customer: you are the best possible combination.
me: oh. have a nice day!


the "let's force andrea into an identity crisis" moment, as if finding out i'm no longer a virgo wasn't bad enough:
customer: [looks at my name tag] YOU ARE NOT ANDREA.
me: ummm.... my name is andrea.
customer: I KNOW WHO ANDREA IS AND YOU ARE NOT ANDREA.
me: ummm... my name is andrea too. there is another andrea who works here, but my name is andrea too.
customer: oooooh. ok.


the "ohmigosh, you're right!" lightbulb moment:
my brother: you need to get a boyfriend so you can boss him around and make him drive you everywhere.


the "this is why i should use self-checkout... screw coupons" realization:
me: [proffers employee rewards card to checker]
checker: do you work for [insert company name here]?
me: i do.
checker: what do you do?
me: i'm a pharmacy tech.
checker: that's so amazing! that's so awesome! wow!
me: it's really not that glamorous. really.
checker: oh, but you do such important work.
me: [feeling very uncomfortable with the unsolicited patronizing of selling drugs] it's really not...
checker: i'm so happy for you! that is just so great. you have a great job.
me: [smiles and goes home to cry in shower]


the "hell yes, my job IS great" moment:
me: has he used this medication before? [gestures to mother's small child]
mom: no, he hasn't taken many drugs.
kid: i don't take drugs.
mom: well, yes, this is a drug. it's not illegal though.
kid: I DON'T TAKE DRUGS.
mom: yes, yes, this is a drug.
kid: what.... no.... [facial expression of horror/disappointment/shock ensues]


the "seriously, how does your skull not just give way to the massive empty space where your brain should be?" moment:
me: just print your name and phone number here. [hands over receipt for refund]
customer: anywhere?
me: on the lines here [points with pen to clearly marked lines "customer name" and "phone number"]
customer: just print my name?
me: yes. and phone number.
customer: and phone number?
me: yes.
customer: what do i do?
me: it's ok... just print your name and phone number.
customer: sign my name? where do i sign?
me: PRINT your name, please.
customer: i'll just sign.
me: ok.
customer: and my phone number?
me: [finds happy place]




hoping your days are filled with endless amusement, although perhaps in the form of actual amusement-- like disneyland, wonder-filled biking adventures, or good ol' fashioned TV.