welcome, April

good evening, fearless reader. I hope you had a great weekend-- what fun things did you experience? thoughts you'd like to share?

well, march is over and it's the first month of 2011 that I can say I'm not bidding good riddance to. march was filled with so many awesome moments (thanks for reading and sharing those little excitements with me)-- and many I didn't share here-- but it was also a month of goodbyes and heartaches and realizations. march also set a new record: 599 blog views in 31 days! I wish I knew every single one of you reading about my quirky life-- leave me a comment about you and what inspires you to live, please!

this weekend was so great-- hello, 4-2011! on Friday, I met up with my best friend and perused the mall and then we gorged on Thai food (spring rolls, pho, and drunken noodles! hell yes!).





on Saturday, I woke up early to browse the thrift stores for some cheap summer clothes and met becca for lunch at Idaho pizza company-- our semi-official meeting place.





then I worked (yay overtime!) and hung out with gregory house all night.






this morning I had bfast with CR (and wife) and discussed his current writing project. still loving the fresh fruit and granola from big city. I spent the afternoon sitting in the sun with my mom, mulling over life and whatnot. tonight, I went to a potluck at kim's and had a great time observing the group's umm libations and whatnot.



this weekend reminds me that life goes on. I can't waste my time waiting for something that is never going to happen and wanting people in my life who don't give a damn about me. I need to surround myself with friends and attitudes that motivate and enlighten me. I'm getting there.

now to put my magnetic poetry calendar back together.






and it's time to get some sleep. I've been awake for over 24 hours now-- perhaps the first time since grad school!

the goods: hitting "play all"

lately, i've been watching "house, m.d."  my obsession started a few years ago, when i was couch-ridden, doubled-over with stomach cramps, and eating plain noodles by the metric ton because it was all i could eat without wanting to yark all over my jammies.  oh, and otter pops.

i love the old cast.

but the day 13 joined the cast, i just about changed my "preferences" on facebook... i mean, seriously.

there are many things that draw me to medical shows... i like the mystery, the drama, etc.  i appreciate house's 2 rules about people: everyone lies, and people don't change.  i think wilson's character receives some of the best lines of the whole show; often, his character acts as a reasoning buffer to house's dark side.  and i find comfort in the idea that even the strangest, most unusual cases in medical history have their roots in sound and explainable science-- people, illnesses, and scenarios are not random, after all.

and olivia wilde is just freakin' gorgeous.

the goods: cashing in

I deposited my first "talent check" for my one spoken line in a TV commercial that was filmed in Boise.

the responsible adult in me needs to buy groceries and toiletries. the playful adult in me wants to buy a new schwinn bicycle. the other hodge-podge, oxymoronic adult in me wants to but an xacto knife and fabric and Jack daniels and nail polish and real watercolors and a little fishy friend.

the goods: random DVDs at the library

I usually browse the DVD section at the library just in case a current film happens to be there-- I mean, why pay $1 at redbox when I can rent for free? and then, there it was, "Dr. Quinn, medicine woman." ha!

fleeting

right now, I am enjoying my Christmas tree.






right now, I know my career must involve creativity and using my hands. last night's Christmas card-making gusto gave me the biggest sense of accomplishment in a great while.






right now, the scale says I weigh the same yet I feel like a gooey chub ball. so please excuse my self-portrait of just my face... self-esteem is low these days.






right now, I should focus on this message:






right now, I appreciate my dry and corny sense of humor because I will never be bored.






right now, my insides feel kind of like this:






right now, I love tumblr. it's the last thing I look at before bed, one of the first things I see when I wake up, and I find myself sitting on the pot long for longer than usual just scrolling and tapping and saving images.














right now, I am thankful my apartment's landlord keeps our stairs and parking lot relatively ice free. you know one of my greatest fears is falling backwards down a flight of stairs, right?






right now, I think broccoli would be more popular if it would just taste like bacon.






right now, I can't stop listening to Taylor Swift's "speak now" album. it's like the booze-free, more fiddle-ish version of pink!'s "funhouse" album. you should YouTube tay's acoustic version of "haunted."






right now, I'm still depressed after finishing season 2 of joss whedon's "dollhouse" tv series. so amazing. so many "WHAT THE EFF JUST HAPPENED?!!!" moments. I suppose watching all 12 episodes in a row only contributed to the feeling of being sucked into yet another canceled tv show's world. sigh.







right now, I don't know how to separate complicated from simple, realizable from abstraction, motivation from desperation.

but, like always, I'll ride it out. thanks for reading.

summer day 84

kind of in love.

love rachel's struggles with embracing her talents and desires to be cool.

love will's dedication to setting a good example for his unborn child and leading his students to victory by showcasing their talents.

love emma's adorable quirks! she has issues and I love it.

love quinn's shift from insider to outsider with her teen pregnancy. why do children have to grow up so fast?

love kurt's beyonce dance!

love quotes like "being an adult means you have to make choices" and "dr. Phil says people can change!"

I wouldn't say that I've been through what these characters experience--but I can sympathize with wanting to be good at something, with wanting to find a partner that is a best friend, your biggest fan, and who can be silly and serious, with figuring out who I am and what I want and how I can show others what I can do.

this is another Ryan Murphy creation that I love.

summer day 57

this is what I've been watching lately. dear Michael C. Hall, can you be anything other than stoic creepy man?

summer day 19

doesn't Jason Segel look gargantuan next to Regis and Kelly? this is why I miss getting more than 3 channels at home. and seriously. Kelly's legs look amazing.

what 2009 has taught me

another year. another year? ANOTHER YEAR? rather than descending into a hawthorne-esque exploration of humanity's innate depravity, i will indulge you with 9 life lessons i have learned from my most disappointing/depressing year to date:

1. i cannot ignore certain things.
i'd like to. and i do for the most part. earlier this year, i found myself sitting alone in a corner with no lights on contemplating what a worthless, uncontributing member of society i truly am; so i turned to good friends Journal, Vodka, and Guitar Hero. there is a dark place inside us all, but i linger there way too often-- pretending i'm really at a britney concert in a pink sparkly dress-- and it must stop.

2. acid-reflux is one big meanie.
so eat your dairy, kids.

3. it's okay to give second chances.
i disagree with house; people do change. a year point five ago, my now-boyfriend treated me (and himself) like crap. since june '09, we both respect each other, (try to) spoil each other, and are the happiest we've been in years. and i got a shiny diamond ring for christmas to symbolize his promise to be a better person and his commitment to our relationship.

4. my family loves me.
i can be a difficult person to love sometimes. i'm stubborn. i'm independent. i'm almost perpetually annoyed. but that's so 2009. and if i decide to resort back to my old demons, i know my family will be there with chocolate donuts, laundry soap, and a new lamp (so i won't sit in the dark anymore) to proffer. and yes, my mother has shown up on my doorstep with all of those items+ at some point.

5. i miss school.
on my first day of kindergarten, i woke my parents up in the early AM-- fully dressed and wearing my backpack-- to ask when i could go to school. in 2009, a small chunk of my heart twanged when i admitted to already having a degree and that i was no longer in school. while i am truly appreciative of my education, i am not truly satisfied with my MA. i miss absorbing new information day after day-- whether from a text first-hand or from a fellow student sharing his/her insights. i miss studying the world around me and emerging with a clearer understanding of our relations to the past, present, and future.

6. i write way more when i'm most insane.
which makes me wonder what danielle steele is really like.

7. TV is for watching.
i bought a 32" flat-screen LCD TV with my first paycheck last june and have thoroughly enjoyed delving into the colorful, fast-speaking world of "pushing daisies" and the sweaty, intelligent mind of engineer-turned-prisoner michael scofield in "prison break" and the awesome, legen-wait for it-dary life of barney in "how i met your mother." yes, i realize all of the afore-listed shows are either cancelled or well into their 5th season, but i caught on a little late, OK? i love TV and i'm sorry i ever said anything different.

8. social networks are bomb.
in 2009, i posted my first tweet on twitter. i also subscribed to an internet plan on my blackberry. i like feeling connected to others, even if it is only through black text and blurry cell phone photos. i share my insights and daily happenings in hopes that others can relate, react, and tell all their friends how cool i am.

9. you don't always get what you want.
and you rarely get what you need. no one is just handed everything they want and need in life. we have to work for what we deserve in life. this past year's crumminess is in large part due to my decisions or lack thereof; but i think i've paid for it, and i'm ready to move on. i'm done wallowing in my own pathetic pity of "well, i couldn't control x or y or z." there are some things you can't control. obviously. but what you can, do. and do it well.

tell me what you don't like about yourself.

a few years ago, i unassumingly flipped through television channels and stopped: on my screen in a dashing blue collared shirt, dr. christian troy pouted with his perfectly shaped bottom lip to his plastic surgery partner sean mcnamara about sucking the fat out of a size 2. words like "ethics" blurred with the sound of expensive shiny shoes tapping on the floor. a gorgeous white lamp glowed in the background.

when i subscribed to netflix, i browsed through the TV section (bad bad bad bad idea), and found "nip/tuck." i added all seasons. approximately 3 months later, i've watched all four seasons, or approximately 24 discs, or roughly 72 episodes.

let me attempt to explain how i could fall so in love with ryan murphy's brilliant show about plastic surgery in south beach, miami (even though it's actually filmed in los angeles):

1. the characters are dramatic but three dimensional. christian is a womanizer (oh. womanizer. oh.) but was sexually abused as a foster child by his father. sean tries to fix his son conor's disability because he, at one point in time, suffered from a physical abnormality that caused his parents to divorce. ava is really a man. and julia is beautiful, smart, and tragic.

2. after watching a DVD extra on the set design for "nip/tuck," i can't stop craving cold furniture, circular reflection ponds, and green & gray together. everything about this show's sets makes me dreamy.

3. you learn valuable lessons like: don't take blood money from drug lords because bad people like escobar gallardo will demand a facial reconstruction and then point a gun at your head, don't take a pretty face home from a bar or you may wake up without a kidney, and don't believe a man's rating system-- an 8 is wonderful.

4. joely richardson is magnificent. i love her. l.o.v.e her.

5. speaking of miss joely, john hensley is actually only 12 years younger than joely-- even though he plays her 18-year-old son on the show.

6. gerbils shit. a lot. and flushing them down the toilet is not a good idea.

7. just when i think i am numb and can't possibly be moved by anything, "nip/tuck" explores the devastating effects of alzheimers and a dedicated wife who undergoes intense surgery to look 20 years younger so her sick husband will recognize her. and julia decides to leave sean (again) but runs back to him outside the airport and whispers: "i love you, you know" as she wraps her slender arms around his neck. and christian is raped-- by a man.

8. everyone has flaws. some you can't see; others you can; all are what make us human.

my love for netflix

i'm housesitting in eagle this month, and because i know my personality, i quickly predicted that i would become a couch-confined blob eating lots of peant m&m's and occasionally indulging in a crossword puzzle or sudoku from the newspaper. fortunately, that hasn't been the entire case. although, a certain entity has brought me endless happiness:

netflix.

i should preface this post with an interesting andrea fact: my first "real" job was working as a guest service representative at hollywood video in eagle. yes, it's true. i rented nearly 300 movies in a span of 2 years (although in my defense, some of those rentals were video games for my brother or movies for the parental unit). after i stopped working for that lovely corporation and shrugged off my starchy purple shirt and black pants uniform, i became really disgusted with the whole movie-watching process. the thought of immersing myself in an alternate world with fake characters and allowing my body ample time to deposit fat cells on my butt urged me to seek other recreational activities. you know, like myspace.

however, i decided that if i was going to be in a strange house, mostly alone, that i'd give netflix a try. the movies come to me, right? i spent near 45 minutes building a 60+ movie queue last thursday, and i was delighted to find the first 3 movies on my list waiting for me when i arrived at the house on sunday night. talk about fast service.

talk about spending hours on the comfy brown suede couch drunk on bloody marys (and vodka tonics. . . and coke with vanilla vodka. . . and beer, but who's keeping track?!) and laughing hysterically at the unlikely duo of bff's in "superbad" or bawling my eyes out (really. . . i feared for the healthy balance of saline in my eyeballs) to "p.s. i love you"-- SEE THIS, people!-- or scribbling in my notebook with small snippets of information from "what the bleep do we know?"

i mean seriously: talk about it! after i watched the first round of movies, i shared one with my mom and then sent the other two away. two days later, more are in the mailbox. it's like christmas/birthday/a hot first date combined. i've watched 5 movies in 5 days. it's incredible.

"lars and the real girl" is coming tomorrow. i can't wait.

Farewell, ANTM... for now.

My week consists mainly of school, teaching, and watching ANTM on Wednesday nights. Well, last Wednesday was the season finale of ANTM Cycle 9. Congrats to Saleisha, the winner:

although I have to express my extreme disappointment (to the point of tears) that my girl Jenah didn't win.

I feel like my week will be devoid of skinny-girl drama and the oh-so-fierce Tyra Banks. But, here's the great news: the new cycle starts on February 20!!! YES!

When will we be done changing?

At this point in time, on a Tuesday morning in November, I am a very random, vacillating individual. So, in order to share a little bit more about myself, here are 10 truths about Andrea that you are just dying to know:

1. I buy used books that I may or may not read someday. For instance, I have 2 copies of Homer's "The Odyssey," four volumes of "The Best American Short Stories," and a set of Ernest Hemingway's complete writings (hardback, spotless dust jackets, and all short stories (either finished or not), and novels). Maybe someday I'll crack the spine and read all of Hemingway's short stories. If not, my posterity is bound to inherit bookshelves full of literature-- all with my name written in pencil on the first blank recto.

2. Tyra Banks is my annoying hero. Not only has she conquered the runway, posed in gowns (that are worth more than my car) for magazines (whose fan bases are larger than the population of my state), canoodled with "noted fashion photographers" and "runway divas extraordinaire," but she has managed to take over daytime television AND host my favorite show, "America's Next Top Model." As well, she is the running joke of "The Soup" and YouTube. Take for instance, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOR4qekHWlA Now, if only I could walk into my 101 class and say, "Now today, I would like to give you the gift of. . . tools to write POETRY! Poetry poetry poetry!" and all my students would jump up screaming, "I've got tools to write poetry!" and then I could run around the classroom, fall on the floor, and point to everyone saying, "And you have tools! And you! And you! And you!"

3. I am on my way to weighing 600 pounds, and my evidence is my newfound favorite foods, which include: Idaho Pizza Company breadsticks, Sonic mozzarella sticks, fries, oriental flavored Top Ramen noodles, sour gummi worms, and Toblerone chocolate in all its triangular glory.

4. When I was 14, my parents gave me $10 to kiss a banana slug. There you go.

5. Mostly, I think graduating from college is overrated. I forget half of the time that I even have a diploma. The pictures are cute though:


6. I can't stand touching raw meat. I think my (future) husband and children will just have to like mushroom burgers, black beans, and other meat-ish fakeouts. That, or we'll eat at Applebee's all the time.

7. In high school and my first year of college, I worked at Hollywood Video. Not only did I take my job very seriously, but I also rented over 300 movies in a span of less than 2 years. The sad part is that I probably watched 299 of them. To this day, walking into a video store gives me wobbly knees and activates my gagging reflex. Go, Netflicks!

8. I drive a Korean-made car that is purple.

9. Sometimes, I fear that I am way too weird for any guy to stand being around me for more than a day. And sometimes, I am reminded that that quality is exactly what I love most about Brett:


10. In conclusion, the last fact that I'd like to leave you with is simply this: Andrea + blogging = manifestation of all the randomness, complete with colors and pictures and oddly (read: "awk") phrased sentences. Enjoy!

subliminal advertising?

Basically, I need to get back to work, but I thought I'd share this, because I'm a crazy crazy dork: I am incessantly coughing and am trying to mentally stop this involuntary bodily function in time for my 101 class tomorrow (how awkward can it be when your teacher is turning red, sweating, and hacking up a lung while trying to suck on cough drops and drink water while still coughing. . .) when a Vicks commercial appeared magically on T.V. Little green upside-down pyramids dropped to earth and comforted little rosy-cheeked children tucked into bed. I can wish, can't I?