28 April 2009

it's like watching someone run over your dog:

i wake up with words in my mouth. not literally, of course. each morning, there's a phrase waiting to be spoken-- and it's usually a line or two from a song. i used to diligently keep track of these lyrics in my journal to decode their significance and see what my subconscious was trying to tell me and/or what it sorted out as i slumbered.

i've been (un)surprisingly emotionless despite a rather traumatic break up. i tried to write about it. nothing. so i decided to read what little i've written over the last few months and-- lo and behold-- i started reading into the snippets of song lyrics i recorded since january.

and now you can share in this discovery:

january 11
"call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not"
-brand new, "the boy who blocked his own shot"

january 17
"this cannot wait, i'm yours"
-jason mraz, "i'm yours"

february 2
"i don't know why, i can't take my eyes off of you"
-lifehouse, "you & me"

february 6
"someone call the doctor, got a case of love bipolar"
-katy perry, "hot n cold"

march 3
"by the way i tried to say i'd be there waiting for you"
-red hot chili peppers, "by the way"

march 15
"i'll be fine if i don't look around me now too much for what's gone"
-the submarines, "brighter discontent"

march 23
"this love is difficult but it's real"
-taylor swift, "love story"

april 1
"i'm lying on the table with everything you said, keep it mind"
-taking back sunday, "this photograph is proof"

april 12
"i had that dream about you again where i wait outside until you let me in"
-blink 182, "roller coaster"

and now all i hear is a heartbeat when i wake up. maybe it's my subconscious trying to comfort me-- "you're not alone"-- or taunt me with the realization that i have nothing left but my pulse to remind me that i'm alive.

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