i truly love babysitting. i get paid to have fun, eat sweet treats, and be told that i'm the coolest big kid ever. (always good for the ol' self-esteem.)
today, i was playing tetherball with a set of nearly-eight-year-old triplets (two boys, one girl), and they were marveling at my ball-on-rope hitting abilities.
"whoa! she just did an airplane!"
"you are sooo good, miss andrea! do you practice?"
(i have no idea what an airplane is, and i haven't been told i'm good at any sports-related activities since i was... oh wait, never.)
but it's my rule to always let the kids win whenever i can. so i started to go "easy." the other two kids were cheering me on when i pounded the ball with fist-shattering pain to untether it...
as it thwacked scott in the face.
like a hollow sucking sound combined with slapping something wet. it was followed quickly with him collapsing to the grass, hands clasped against his cheek. the two on-lookers gasped and ran to his side.
i think i screamed somewhere in the midst of all the trouble.
but then, like a resilient nearly-eight-year-old boy with an ego and ability to forgive and forget, he arose and smiled and grabbed the ball-- confused as to why i was visibly freaking out. i asked him if he was okay, if he needed ice on his cheek, that i was sorry, and that he could stop playing and go inside and lie down. he ignored all of my pleadings and wanted to keep playing.
later, scott looked at me.
"miss andrea, how old are you?"
"23."
"is that old?"
"sometimes i feel old."
pause.
"you feel? why do you FEEL old?"
"i just do."
"well, why does it matter if you feel old? ARE you old?"
"yes, i'm old compared to you."
the conversation continued for a little while, but i pondered his words for quite a long time after. (are you surprised?) perhaps the ability to distinguish between fact and feeling, between events and emotions, between mind and heart.
i need to remind myself of this. mind over matter.
1 comment:
so i was thinking about this in relation to your view that feelings are lame..."why does it matter if you FEEL old?" asks the 8 year old, but if we believe that perception is reality, at least to us, and it seems like feelings make up to a large degree our perception, then feelings are very important. Does it matter whether we are 23 or 15, or 50....if we feel old and used and beaten then isnt that more important? Although i will agree that feelings are lame because they are so arbitrary and easily influenced by external stimuli. Interestingly, if any of what i've said is true, then pretty much we can create our own reality for ourselves. Any thoughts?
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