AFHV, you got me.

do you ever feel like your life is one consecutive punchline after another?  seriously, if this is candid camera, you can stop taping now. over. waving white flag. done.

some recent tidbits of conversation, for your amusement always.

the "andrea actually IS a banana-- yellow on the outside, white on the inside" confirmation:
customer: are you japanese?
me: no....
customer: what is your background?
me: [struggles] korean.
customer: my daughter-in-law is japanese. but she's full-blown japanese. raised there and everything.
me:oh, that is very cool! [smiles through pain]
customer: you were raised here. i can tell. [winks]
me: [resists temptation to gag]
customer: you are the best possible combination.
me: oh. have a nice day!


the "let's force andrea into an identity crisis" moment, as if finding out i'm no longer a virgo wasn't bad enough:
customer: [looks at my name tag] YOU ARE NOT ANDREA.
me: ummm.... my name is andrea.
customer: I KNOW WHO ANDREA IS AND YOU ARE NOT ANDREA.
me: ummm... my name is andrea too. there is another andrea who works here, but my name is andrea too.
customer: oooooh. ok.


the "ohmigosh, you're right!" lightbulb moment:
my brother: you need to get a boyfriend so you can boss him around and make him drive you everywhere.


the "this is why i should use self-checkout... screw coupons" realization:
me: [proffers employee rewards card to checker]
checker: do you work for [insert company name here]?
me: i do.
checker: what do you do?
me: i'm a pharmacy tech.
checker: that's so amazing! that's so awesome! wow!
me: it's really not that glamorous. really.
checker: oh, but you do such important work.
me: [feeling very uncomfortable with the unsolicited patronizing of selling drugs] it's really not...
checker: i'm so happy for you! that is just so great. you have a great job.
me: [smiles and goes home to cry in shower]


the "hell yes, my job IS great" moment:
me: has he used this medication before? [gestures to mother's small child]
mom: no, he hasn't taken many drugs.
kid: i don't take drugs.
mom: well, yes, this is a drug. it's not illegal though.
kid: I DON'T TAKE DRUGS.
mom: yes, yes, this is a drug.
kid: what.... no.... [facial expression of horror/disappointment/shock ensues]


the "seriously, how does your skull not just give way to the massive empty space where your brain should be?" moment:
me: just print your name and phone number here. [hands over receipt for refund]
customer: anywhere?
me: on the lines here [points with pen to clearly marked lines "customer name" and "phone number"]
customer: just print my name?
me: yes. and phone number.
customer: and phone number?
me: yes.
customer: what do i do?
me: it's ok... just print your name and phone number.
customer: sign my name? where do i sign?
me: PRINT your name, please.
customer: i'll just sign.
me: ok.
customer: and my phone number?
me: [finds happy place]




hoping your days are filled with endless amusement, although perhaps in the form of actual amusement-- like disneyland, wonder-filled biking adventures, or good ol' fashioned TV.