i am not ashamed to admit that i like britney spears. in fact, i will even stand up for her. i've never met the girl, but i don't think she deserves as much crap as she's given. sure, her music is a little processed (but she listens to radiohead). and yes, she almost dropped her kid on the ground (but who hasn't?). oh, and there was the whole marrying a giant LOSER deal (but we all have skeletons in our closet).
britney stole my heart back in 1999 when she released "...baby one more time." she danced around in a little schoolgirl outfit and moped on the bleachers. i think i first really fell for her after watching a video of brit at dance practice for "hit me"s video. she was wearing a white sports bra and her hair flipped thisway and thatway-- i mean, most high school students (she was only 18 when her first album was released) couldn't manage a homework assignment, much less multiple dance routines, lyrics, and a skin-tight-tight-wardrobe-approved body. even if her music was less than stellar according to music enthusiasts (read: snobs), ...baby one more time has sold over 14 million records in the US alone. maybe the schoolgirl outfit was just too genuis.
her second album, oops!...i did it again was also very successful-- and i was pleased to hear that britney had grown up a little. she emerged in a full-body red latex suit in her video "oops! i did it again" and mocked titanic and all the sudden, brit brit was hawt.
she was everywhere. the tabloids. magazine covers. with justin timberlake. amidst rumors she wasn't a virgin. OMG she pierced her belly button. umm the vegas wedding to childhood sweetheart. and a whole bunch of other stuff. and then.kevin federline. back up dancer. 2004. engaged after 3 months. his ex was 8 months preggo. but whatevs. it was love. married 10/6/2004.
and then they had 2 kids. and she got, like, so fat. and then they divorced in november 2006. and then, you know. she went "crazy"-- attacking paparazzi with an umbrella and shaving her head and having breakdowns and whatnot. yah, this happened:
but, come on. she married the supposed love of her life without a pre-nup, and they broke up (reportedly) over text messaging. the media constantly photographed her looking terrible (read: chunky and worn out). she started partying with paris and flashing the media (accidentally of course). there were rumors of a sex tape. she was denounced "bipolar." and her comeback failed. even though, seriously, she looks a hell of a lot better than most girls out there who manage to have boyfriends and stuff.
but, come on. failed relationships suck. failed career moves suck. failed parenting sucks.imagine the world laughing at you. imagine the world reading about your mistakes through the sarcastic, bitter tone of people like perez hilton. imagine your parents admitting that you're a disappointment. imagine being constantly compared to who you used to be, years and years ago. have you ever had a bad haircut? have you ever driven without a seatbelt? have you ever made some bad drinking choices?
have you released 6 albums and 4 eps? have you starred on a hit TV show playing a hot secretary? have you posed for rolling stone's COVER 7 times? have you created and sold a perfume line? have you walked across your own star on the hollywood walk of fame? have you ever looked like this good in leather pants and wig:
have you been the most searched person for the year on google and set guinness world records? have you made out with madonna? have you ever performed for a superbowl half-time show? have you toured the world 5 times sharing your life's work with millions of people that relate to you, that understand what you've been through, that can only imagine how much you've sacrificed to have what you have, that really could never grasp how absolutely awesome it is to be you?naw, that's britney, bitch.
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