today's new was rather emotional for me. after some space from the pen, I decided to sum up my experience with a few sentences instead of a complex narrative through the often overly-complicated musings of my brain.
I wrote a letter to my high school English and creative writing teacher. two events sparked this: 1) I saw him while I was working and felt overwhelming shame/embarassment/guilt for abandoning my passions in life while being faced with the person who so inspired me to write... I cried under my blankey when I got home (when in doubt, always always blame ridiculous outpourings of emotion on birth control. always.), and 2) I saw a student of mine from my first semester teaching while--again--working and she said, "I liked your class," an unsolicited compliment revealed as if we were talking about them Broncos-- like, what, my composition clas was not a total failure or waste of time and, well, maybe I just projected my insecurities onto teaching the young and impressionable minds at my fingertips. her nonchalant comment made all those late nights at IHOP responding to unit projects completely worth it. and I thought that maybe my high school English teacher would appreciate a short note saying thanks for inspiring me to invest in an education that would shape my perspectives on how I observe and interpret and question the world around me.
after I sealed the note, I felt like tearing it up. what if he thinks I'm crazy? but I promise I will send it tomorrow. because, really, I am a little bit crazy. who isn't?
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